If so you might be a highly sensitive person.
A small portion of population, 15-20%, is comprised of highly sensitive people.
[Highly sensitive people] process sensory data more deeply due to the biological nature of their nervous systems. This depth of processing underlies HSPs’ greater proclivity to overstimulation, emotional reactivity and empathy, and sensitivity to stimuli.
Going to Vegas
The ultimate litmus test for being a highly sensitive person is Vegas.
I went last year for my friend’s 21st.
Two days in? I was drained. The 24/7 stimulation depleted me like no other.
What’s A Highly Sensitive Person To Do?
Most stimulating activities can’t be avoided, nor should they be avoided. It would zap the fun out of life.
So what’s the answer, then, for approaching girls? Being interviewed for a job? Giving a speech?
It’s not uncommon for these activities to:
- Raise your blood pressure
- Quicken your breathing
- Make thoughts hard to form
And sometimes it’s not even the physical act that triggers the alarm. It’s the precursor, and just thinking about what could go wrong, that does the trick. Your mind jumps to conclusions and prepares for the worst-case scenario.
Will I make a fool of myself? Will I forget what to say? Will I be rejected?
Changing Your Focus
If you have two plants and you water one, while neglecting the other, you’re gonna have a plant that thrives and a plant that dies.
Whatever you focus on grows.
Thus the focus of your thoughts determines how you feel.
In How to Change Your State, Cernovich talks about the process of achieving an empowered state of mind.
You change your state through finding a time you felt invincible, triumphant, and like nothing or no one could stop you.
The physiology of your body affects your mental state. You trigger these feelings through physiological movements. You’re telling your mind to do something through your body’s movements.
Here’s why it’s important: you create feedback loops between your mind and body. When you have feelings of triumphantness—your body is going to have a response. One way to trigger these feelings is through your physiology.
Essentially there’s 5 steps to state control:
- Scanning your past for an empowering memory.
- Feeling in your body what it’s like to relive that memory.
- Capturing that feeling by noting the physiological change that takes place in your body as you relive that memory.
- Anchoring the feeling, and the physiological change, to the memory you just recalled.
- Recalling the memory and changing your physiology whenever doubt or negative thoughts enter your mind.
After accessing this state enough times, it will become second nature, and available for use on-demand anytime you feel overwhelmed.
Finding Your Happy Place
The hardest part, besides actually changing your state, is finding an empowering memory that’s easy to recall.
After listening to the podcast, I asked myself: what experience fits the bill?
I’ve played it my whole life.
When I step onto the court my mind clears and I feel unstoppable.
A Physical Shift
On the court my body changes. It becomes loose, yet ready to act instantly and make split-second decisions. I feel grounded and assured of my abilities.
It’s all instinctual.
How I feel on the court—in the moment and locked in—is how I want to feel in every stimulating activity, because I know I can handle my business.
And because I play basketball frequently, it’s the perfect empowered state to access.
But what if you don’t play basketball?
That’s okay because there is something you’re good at.
Maybe it’s another sport. Or maybe you’re an amazing musician.
Whatever it is it doesn’t matter.
All that matters is that the memory you access makes you feel empowered and in the moment.
Change Your State to Change Your Life
While state control may seem “out there”—the bottom line is that it works.
I’ve used it in plenty of situations: waiting tables and talking to big groups of people; or whenever I feel self-conscious and unsure of myself.
It really does work.
And it’s worth the effort to learn how to manage your state so you can live life on your terms and not let fear dominate your thinking.
Instead of passively letting life happen to you, why not steer the ship and be in command of your fate?
P.S. Cernovich also talks in-depth about State Control in his book, Gorilla Mindset (Amazon). Check it out if you’re serious about learning how to control your state.